Oat Bread Cockaigne (pg 601)

Check out that egg wash shine

In Joy, the designation "cockaigne" means that a recipe is one of the authors' very favorites. The word has a connotation of gluttony and lots of interesting history in literature that you should Google or that maybe a smarter member of the family will write about. This poem, The Land of Cokaygne, is a good start though. Here are a few lines and reading the whole thing will make you proud to be an American:

In Cokaygne food and drink are had without worry, trouble or toil.  The meat is choice and the drink is clear at every meal: noon, afternoon and evening.  I swear this land has no peer under heaven or on earth for such joy and bliss. 

There are many sweet sights; it is always day, never night.  There is no quarrelling or strife, no death but ever life.  There is no lack of food or clothing, and no man or woman is ever wroth.³

Alright, alright! On to the bread...

To the list of things that sound like a good idea but are definitely not a good idea, let's add, "starting bread at 6pm." Why do I always forget that bread needs one million hours to rise and rise again and bake and cool? Oh well... we made it

This recipe called for 2 things we didn't have on hand; soy flour and wheat germ but I phoned in a quick mom-consult and was assured that substitutions could be made. So here we have AP flour, wheat flour (extra to make up for the soy), oats (extra to make up for the wheat germ), milk, egg, salt, brown sugar, veggie oil, and yeast

The star of this quarantine? Stand mixer.

That all got mixed for 10 minutes of dough hook kneading, had a 1 hour rise, a rise in the pan and a bake with an egg brushed on top. I was in bed by 9 

Em: ⭐⭐⭐⭐  because they like "a less dense bread" (no offense taken)

Jess: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ because it tastes like bran flakes in a good way and was really easy to make but maybe wasn't quite "cockaigne." Should have instantcarted soy flour...

Lemon Chess Pie (Page 678)

Lemon Chess Pie

Chess Pie is an old fashioned southern invention.  Most recipe's call for simple ingredients including eggs, butter, sugar, cream/milk/buttermilk and some sort of texture like cornmeal or even cake crumbs and vinegar. Having a pre-made pie crust on hand is the hard part.  Once you have the pie crust made and pre-baked the pie itself is very easy.

Pie Crust Rested in Refrigerator 

 Make sure your pie crust dough has plenty of time in the refrigerator before you roll it out.

Fill Pre Baked Crust with Filling

Pre-bake with pie weights in the crust and make sure they come all the way up the side, or your crust will droop.

 There are lots of variations on this basic recipe, and I chose to do the lemon version.  The recipe calls for lemon juice to replace some of the liquid and lemon zest.

Finished Product with Slight Droop

The filling does not puff up that much, so a shallow pie plate is perfect. Unfortunately, I went with the deep dish which gives you lots of crust. It seemed to take much longer to bake than the recipe suggested, I went over 15 minutes longer and still think it could have used more.

I loved this pie. It tastes like a lemon bar and is really sweet and slightly sour because of the vinegar and lemon.  Definitely needs some whip cream or ice cream to cut the sweet/sour taste.

Mike: 5/5

Julie: meh

Ed, would rather have Marie Calendar's Coconut Cream.

Fudgy Brownies (Pg 765) and Hummus (Pg 52)

I have been really uninterested in following recipes lately. Anytime I cook something for this I've been hastily measuring and rushing through to get it over with. I'm also over my weekly routine. Signing into my computer by 8am, mixing gross cans of pet food with water for Steven and Clouds, letting Clouds out, walking Steven, answering phone calls with questions I can't answer, uploading documents blah blah blah. We've been working in the yard a ton which has been really nice, but also tiring. I've also become addicted to this computer game called PUBG, a first person shooter. I'm really bad at it which makes it much more fun! Jesus christ I put a random movie on to to watch while I write this it is the absolute worst movie I have ever seen in my life. Serena. Think it came out a few years ago. Do Not Watch.

Last night we decided to have Paul and Abigail over for a social distanced bonfire. I wanted to throw together some snacks so chose these two relatively easy recipes. Oh, I'm also super tired of doing dishes. Check this out:

The brownies were easy to make. I just had one problem which was that you needed to dissolve the sugars in the butter and chocolate. It never really happened, or I wasn't patient enough. I was using organic sugar which has larger crystals than normal Dominos, so maybe that would have helped. Thought it wouldn't matter but I would say that the grains had a noticeable bite once the brownies were done. I plan to make them again and will try to dissolve better. This movie is so bad but I can't stop. Serena is winning the boys over, she imported an eagle and trained it to hunt all the deadly rattlesnakes. 

The brownies were really good and definitely fudgy. We ate them with vanilla ice cream. If you haven't gotten Tillamook yet you need to. 

The hummus was hummus, everybody loved it. 

Paul brought over wood scraps to burn from his furniture shop. Was difficult for me to do, really beautiful walnut and oak pieces. He says he has trouble offloading it. 

We had fun on the patio. Still need to finish our drainage system. 

Brownies 5/5 stars

Hummus 5/5 

Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic (Page 420)

In this case, Chicken with about 20 cloves of garlic.  I rationalized that doing only three leg/thigh pieces did not need the full 40.

This has to be one of the easiest recipes ever-- for so little effort it tastes great.

Not 40 Cloves of Garlic

You can use a whole chicken, a cut up chicken or just part of a chicken.  I bought a 10 lbs bag of chicken legs and thighs because it is Covid quarantine and why not have a 10 lbs bag of chicken parts on hand.  What I didn't realize is it takes several days for a frozen solid chunk of chicken parts to thaw, so if you go this route give it a couple of days in advance to thaw. I used the remaining chicken to make Tandoori bbq chicken, but sadly I did not use the Joy recipe that calls for Fenugreek leaves. (We did not have them on hand, surprisingly.)

Browning

This couldn't be easier to make. Brown the chicken in oil, add the garlic, (the more the merrier with the garlic)  some seasonings like thyme and sage, put it in the oven.   The recipe calls for turning the oven temperature up midway through with the lid off but you could probably be lazy and not bother and it would be fine. Just make sure you get the chicken cooked all the way through, 165 degrees.

Take the Meat Out and Boil the Juice

As with most things, the gravy is the best part.  After taking it out of the oven be sure to boil it on the stove until it reduces. Be sure to mash up some of the cooked garlic and add to the gravy.  I took the added step of separating the fat out so that it wasn't too greasy.

The Finished Product

Mashed up Garlic for the Sauce (yum)

Ratings: Julie 5/5
Mike 5/5
Ed 10/5 He really liked the gravy.

Chicago-Style Deep-Dish Pizza (pg 616)

According to Joy, the key to a Chicago-style pizza is to use plenty of cheese and to put the sauce on top. Otherwise, you can fill it with whatever you like. We had some red peppers and a random andouille sausage to use up and were not disappointed by the flavor combo at all. For inspiration, there are some recommended combos on pg 615 that look fun to try: @Dad... if you still have leeks laying around; "melted leeks", mushroom, cheese & olive oil?

Here's how this recipe went...
THE DOUGH
What I (this is Jess) know of deep dish pizza is what I've eaten at Uno's which always had a VERY buttery crust. Spoiler: this was not that. Joy only recommends adding 2 tbsp of melted butter to the basic pizza dough recipe (pg 614) of flour, water, yeast, olive oil and salt and it didn't really seem to make a difference. On the bright side of dough making... The molten butter didn't kill my yeast and kneading with the Kitchen Aid worked just fine.

Pictured above is a cat paw dent. Dough and cats like the same warm spot in our house.

After a 90 minute rise, the dough gets spread out into a round sheet and placed into a buttered/corn-mealed cast iron pan. 10/10 would recommend buttering with bare-hands. It was very fun.

THE FILLINGS

On top of the dough, go the cheese and goodies. As recommended, we used shredded mozzarella and sliced provolone (there's never a shortage of cheese in our house.) Then on top of that, put our sliced red pepper, onions and andouille. Note: use MORE MEAT!!! Like a lot more meat.

We didn't have the ingredients to make marinara (pg 556) so topped with a jar of spicy red pepper sauce we had in the pantry and a LOT of grated parm.

We threw our (literal) pie into the oven for 5 seconds at 425 and pulled it right back out because we forgot to drizzle it with olive oil. 34 minutes of baking later, we had a golden brown crust, gooey cheese and really great sausage/pepper/onion flavor. Would definitely make again with MORE MEAT!!!!

⭐⭐⭐⭐ from Jess whose crust expectations were ruined by Uno's.

Brandied Chicken Breasts

Thank you all for welcoming me into what is arguably the hottest culinary quarantine destination on the internet. Certainly an upgrade from Antoni's haunted "Quar-eye" instagram series. It's an honor and a privilege to be here.

This first edition is a little wonky, since I had to use what I already had on hand. I couldn't find my copy of JoC, so I had to call my dad and have him text me chicken breast recipes, which also didn't include page numbers. Worry not, I just ordered a new (used) copy (from Thriftbooks, Jessie- no bezos blood money was exchanged), and future entries will be standardized.

Now onto the main event.



I was very pleased with how this turned out. I've never brandied meat before, and it effectively locked in the flavor and kept the bird juicy even though I overcooked it. I rubbed the chicken with brandy and the spice mixture and let it sit for about 20 mins. Instead of sherry I used regular red wine and I think it tasted just fine.

The sauce here came together really easily. It was similar to a hollandaise I think, and I was a little concerned bc I don't have a lot of experience with cream-based sauces. I reduced the amount of recommended heavy cream and used about 3/4 cup. Because I only cooked 2 breasts this left us with more than enough sauce. I didn't top with swiss cheese, because I don't think I've ever kept it in the house. JoC LOVES swiss, I see it in so many recipes! Maybe it's time to broaden my horizons.



I did top with bread crumbs and broiled, and it really did crisp up nicely on top. Coupled with a salad and some grains we had left over in the pantry, this one was a smash success.

Finished chickie

Louie couldn't be happier as we settle down to watch "DEVS",
a show I am bored by, but resigned to for lack of options. I was
lobbying for curb, but was denied bc he doesn't like "tense tv"...
.... .... ironic as this dumb opinion is the source of plenty of tension
in our household. King of the Hill is the great unifier, thanks to Beth
for showing me the genius of that perfect show so long ago. 

I apologize for this layout, it's nasty. I'm learning. 

Molly: 4/5 stars... but 5/5 stars for the preparation, it was easy and the flavor payoff was huge.

Louie: 4/5 stars

Blackbird: 5/5 stars

Basic Bean Salad (pg 129)

One of the reasons Joy of Cooking is so often given as a wedding or graduation gift is because instead of giving you a just straightforward recipe, it makes sure you understand what makes a recipe work and how to make adjustments to it.  Optional ingredients are denoted by parentheses

I tossed in quite a few

This bean salad recipe breaks down like this:
cooked beans (any kind)
olive oil, lemon juice, salt & pepper
pretty much any other ingredient you feel like tossing in there.

Let it marinate a bit and voila, it's lunch.

We ate it over a couple of days and it just kept getting better.  Did I learn anything?  No, but for someone looking to use up some extra beans (and who doesn't have a can of beans moldering on a shelf somewhere?) it's a keeper.

Julie:  ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Mike:  ⭐⭐⭐ (he said it was boring--this is why I let him do the cooking)

Apple Dumplings (Pg. 688) Pies and Pastries

The opening paragraph says this is, "hands down, one of our favorite recipes in this entire book."  With that introduction I launched into what was expected to be something extraordinary.  Unfortunately, I would classify this as good, not great.

My Assistant Peeled the Apples

The idea is simple enough. Make a pastry dough, wrap it around apples and pour the syrup over it and bake.

I already had pastry dough in the fridge, one of the joys of being home, I can make pastry dough ahead. However, I suspect in normal times most of us don't have a batch of pastry dough at the ready. Obviously, you can use pre-made store bought, but those are never as good.

The Filling

I'm pretty adept at rolling out pastry dough into a near circle for pie, but rolling dough into rectangles turns out not to be that easy.  They recommend rolling out one big rectangle and cutting it into smaller rectangles to wrap your apples.  After trying to make a large rectangle, that could be cut into four uniform smaller rectangles, I realized it is much easier to divide your dough into the number of apples you have and roll each one individually into rectangles.  

Another complication comes in the size of the apples.  The size they describe as small apples are smaller than any apple I've seen commercially available. I used what I consider smaller apples, and they were still larger than even what they consider a large apple.  You will definitely want to cut your apples in half. I left two of the apples whole and halved the third one, making four portions out of three apples.  When wrapping the dough, I found it hard to get a nice finished look on the top where it all comes together and the half apples were not attractive at all. Sorry, no pictures of the ugly halves.

The Syrup with Lemon Slices

If you are successful in getting the dough rolled into even rectangles and wrapped around the apples, the rest of this is very easy.  The syrup recipe is very simple and I have to say, tastes amazing. The addition of the lemon slices is the key.  Do not skip the lemon slices and try to substitute lemon juice instead, it won't be as good. It seems strange to put entire lemon slices into the syrup, but once you taste the final result you will understand why it is important.

Because my apples were larger, the baking time took longer, but that didn't really seem to cause any problems.  You want to bake them until the apples are soft and you can stick a toothpick into them without resistance.  You don't want crunchy apples.  

Basting these while they bake is not easy, but is definitely worth doing.  Also, go easy on the initial pour of syrup over the dumplings. You don't want too much liquid in the bottom to start. But, do try to use as much of the syrup as you can, since it is the best part.

The Finished Product: Not Pretty

In terms of ingredients this is pretty simple, but technique is one of the more difficult things I've made in the book.  A second try would probably be much better, now that I've made all the rookie mistakes.

It does taste pretty amazing, and is really good with ice cream.  But, honestly, an apple pie is nearly the same and probably easier to make.

I would give this a 3/5. Make an apple pie and call it a day.
Julie only had a bite, and gave it a 4/5.
Ed ate it without complaint, so I would say 4/5.

Orange Rum Cake (Pg. 735) Ravioli (Pg. 313)

Easter happened so we had to make a cake. I didn't read many of the options before settling on Orange Rum, especially when I saw the recommended frosting was a chocolate glaze! The ingredients were really simple and the glaze was a breeze as well. It called for "dark rum" I don't really know what that is but I had a rum and I used it to saturate the cake after it cooled a bit.    

 

Here's my make shift double boiler. 

 

   Sean: 3 stars (he thought it tasted dry, maybe needed more rum?)

 Beth: 4 stars (really good!)

We made ravioli too, not very noteworthy. Needed a pasta machine.

Sean: 3 stars
Beth: 2 stars

             

Sean made Bee's Knees 5 stars all around

Cheese Crackers (pg. 70): Definitely not Cheez-Its

We've been eating a lot of chips, so I thought we better throw in some variety and add cheese crackers to the mix. They were pretty fun to make. You get to roll out the dough as flat as you can and cut little squares. I should have tried to do fun shapes, like cat heads or face masks, but I didn't have the energy.

Oh yeah, I tried to use the Vitamix instead of a food processor, which I thought would be better but I guess not. It was like 6am and I pretty much had to put the Vitamix on full blast and instead ended up burning out the motor and almost stripping the gear. Turns out none of that is necessary when you have two functioning hands.

I forgot that you're supposed to flour a surface and not cover it with vegetable oil to help make things not stick, so the first batch tasted a little more... fried? The second batch got a lot thinner and I think they crisped better in the oven. The end product is fine. They taste good, but they're pretty dry to eat. I think they work better as dog treats.

Em: ⭐⭐⭐
Jess: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rogi: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for sit, ⭐⭐⭐⭐ for lay down, ⭐⭐⭐ for come, ⭐ for NO JUMPING
(By: Em)